The Awakening
by cmartlover
Summary: River Song may have brought the Doctor back to life, but how did he really feel about this decision of hers? Or her parents, for that matter? The Doctor believed that he deserved to die, but perhaps River's actions were not in vain, but in fact more powerful than he could have ever imagined. Missing scene from Let's Kill Hitler.


**Author's Note: Well, let's just say I've been wanting to write this story for a very long time. Let's Kill Hitler has been my favorite Doctor Who episode since the first time a saw it, nearly a year ago, now. I've practically memorized it because I've literally watched it at least twenty times. I really hope my rendition does it justice. It starts out during the scene where River brings the Doctor back to life, and includes the scenes that I invisioned would occur between that time and the time she ends up in the hospital. Sorry for the long note. Remember that reviews would be greatly appreciated:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.**

* * *

As the broken woman gazed down upon the man's tranquil face, she intrinsically drew nearer to his still body, her wild curls bouncing atop her shoulders while the radiant energy began to seep from her hands.

It was quite an odd feeling, in fact, she wasn't entirely aware of what she was doing, at all.

She could feel her heart rapidly beating in her chest, pounding in her ears methodically, urging her to defy the very nature of her life-long mission.

The deeply engrained instincts were still alive, somewhere in that complicated brain of hers, but suddenly the recent image of her future self, the enigmatic River Song, the woman this desperate man had pleaded for time after time, lay heavily upon her mind, willing her heart to accept the possibility that maybe—just _maybe_—the Doctor was worth it.

Her parents had certainly thought so, and now they stood trembling behind her, their minds also swirling with an unspoken confusion that exceeded even her own.

Despite the unbearable agony that had ailed his dying body, that impossible man had been willing to deliver his best friends from the clutches of death. He had pleaded on behalf of a woman who had brutally poisoned him, his old eyes shining with an inexplicable love for her, rather than the fierce hate that she so deserved.

It was _that_ knowledge, that unspoken truth that silently assured her that this man was perhaps not the monster who had stolen her childhood.

Bending down, the woman's glowing fingers carefully circled around his cold cheeks.

For a fraction of a second, she breathed in the sight of his unmoving lips—those pale-pink lips that had been silenced by her corrosive poison. The memory of his last breath as he whispered those impossible words that shouldn't have been meant for her, pounded in her head, his soft spoken voice slowly drawing her heart out of the consuming darkness that had ensnared it for so many years.

One moment his entire body was frozen, but suddenly the dead man's light eyes popped wide open, his luminescent face filled with shock.

"River," he spoke quietly, his voice laced with a familiarity that she had yet to fully comprehend. And for the very first time, there was not a single doubt in her mind as to whom he was speaking to. "No—what are you doing-?" the Doctor's eyebrows shot up, but his vain efforts to dissuade her were utterly futile.

"Hello Sweetie," the corners of her cheeks tipped upward, and the foreign words cascaded into the air as she pressed her lips against his. At first, he struggled, but after a momentary pause, he submitted, she could feel his secret smile forming beneath her mouth.

Her stomach knotted, an unusual sensation swarming through her body, as his heartbeats mingled with her own.

Spreading his weary arms outward like a great eagle, the man melted against the force of the embrace.

The golden light danced across the room, flooding out of River's body until she was no longer able to think, her mind beginning to succumb to the nauseating feeling of lightheadedness that intensified by the second.

* * *

A blazing fire burned in the man's body as the woman's soft lips breathed his soul back into him.

Her curls tickled his chest, and for a brief moment, his thoughts focused on nothing but the only woman in the universe who was truly one of his own kind. It was a miracle that he could have never envisioned for himself—but here she was, this beautiful, breathtaking, and impossible creature—trained her entire life to murder him, now, in an act of defiance and blind faith, sacrificing her future liveliness and longevity to save an undeserving, weary, old man who she hardly even knew.

_That_ woman, not the twisted psychopathic criminal infatuated with her wild curls and new body, was River Song. Maybe not quite _his_ River Song, but River Song nonetheless. Who else would willingly give her own lives for _him_? Who else could make his body tremble and his hearts pound with just the simple touch of her lips?

This may have not been the flirty, reckless, mysterious archaeologist, but in time, she would be that woman. _That_ River Song. But this was her right at the start—she was only just beginning and she still had quite a long journey ahead of her.

In that moment, as this very young River Song kissed him with every remaining ounce of strength she had, he found himself wishing that they could stay like this—their lips sealed together and hearts creating an irresistible melody.

It was as if the Doctor was finally willing to let her in, because for the first time in his life, he truly understood where she had been, enough to appreciate the beauty of what she would one day become. All those times he had dreaded her seductive charms, refusing to admit his feelings for her, intent on running away like the coward he had always been, stubbornly coaxing himself into believing the lie that 'time could be rewritten'—and where had it all gotten him, in the end? Straight into the arms of the very woman he had tried to flee from, with the newfound knowledge of all the wasted times and hurtful words that he had spoken to her without a care.

And now, the woman formally known as Melody Pond, was resurrecting him from the dead, giving him the lives that should have been _hers_. Suddenly, his hearts were heavy with guilt, the reality of her sacrifice unavoidable, piercing him to the very core as the regeneration energy surged into his body.

The worst part was that he'd _known_ that she was going to do this.

Perhaps it was that uncanny truth that burdened him the most.

An inevitable weight brought the man in the bow tie out of his haunting thoughts.

Feeling River's body collapse upon his, the Doctor felt himself stimulated by an odd sensation of intense dread.

Without thinking, he quickly cradled her unconscious form in his arms, slightly disturbed by the paleness of her now ghost-white skin.

"Oh, River…"

"Doctor, what's wrong with her?" the ginger haired girl muttered fearfully, reminding the Doctor that his best friends had been in the room the entire time.

"W-What did she do, exactly? All that energy-stuff coming out of her—is she going to be alright? Doctor, please tell me— what should we do, I…" Rory's paranoid questions were cut off by the Doctor's anger-ridden demands.

"Well, for starters, don't just stand there! Help me get her into the TARDIS," the man in the bow tie spat loudly, unable to conceal the  
quiver in his voice.

Startled, the sandy haired man soon followed his friend's orders, his hands scooping up part of his daughter's body, as the Doctor lugged the other half, with Amy nervously following close behind them.

"Hurry up, Rory, Amy, we've got to get her to the TARDIS sick bay," after hastily entering the familiar console area, the raggedy man and the Last Centurion trudged River's limp body into a white-walled room. "Now, Ponds, both of you, we need to set her down on this cot," the Doctor commanded, watching as the Roman and his wife extended further support to their daughter.

"Hang in there, River, you're going to be alright, I promise," grasping her still hand, the man in the bow tie soon turned his attention towards the small screen resting in front of him.

"D-Doctor, is she going to be—"

"I need a full body scan of River Song," the scanner bleeped in response, and the Doctor furrowed his brow. "Let's see, River Song, Melody Pond, partial human/Time Lord, regeneration disabled, currently unconscious, severely oxygen deprived, needs immediate medical attention. Just as I feared…"

"I don't understand, what do you mean…"

"I'm sorry but I don't have time to explain. River needs better treatment than she would get on the TARDIS…so we've got to get down to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism," the Doctor panted, his mind racing as he scanned River's pale features.

"Sisters of the Infinite-what? What are you on about?" Amy quipped, desperately wanting some answers.

"Sisters of the Infinite _Schism._ Greatest hospital in the universe. And we've got to get down there as soon as possible, meaning I've got to fly the TARDIS…you two stay here and look after River…" he shot his friends a sad smile and bolted out into the main control room before the Ponds could protest.

"Doctor?" the red head's frightened voice echoed in the Doctor's ears as his fingers wrapped around a few asymmetric levels bulging out of the TARDIS console.

He frantically typed the necessary coordinates into the typewriter-like instrument, his senses slightly relieved when the beloved and comforting whooshing sound of his ship entered his hearing.

"Alright, Old Girl, let's get River where she needs to go, eh?" the Doctor remarked, amazed by the fact that the TARDIS was responding more quickly and efficiently than she had in quite a while.

In little time at all, the blue box had landed, and the view that the man in the bow tie observed from the scanner confirmed the fact that they were indeed in the correct location.

Scampering back to the medical bay, the Doctor carefully shifted his hands beneath River's body, ushering for his friends to do the same.

"We're here, now. Don't worry, River's very resilient. She'll be fine. Now, all I've got to do is find the psychic paper, and we're all set. Aha!" he exclaimed, ignoring Amy and Rory's darkened expressions as he removed a tiny black device from his pocket. "Always carry a spare. Anyway, let's go," the Doctor suggested, his mood again growing serious, as the three made their way into a bustling corridor of the hospital.

A series of various alien species ranging from cat-like creatures to humanoids scurried about the hall, all clad in white.

"Excuse me, sir, but all patients must have level-4 clearance to be here…" one feline started, eying the man in the bow tie very suspiciously.

Flashing his psychic paper without hesitance, the Doctor began to concoct some fable that would give him the quick access he needed. He could sort out the facts later.

"But, I definitely have access, see, after all I'm…"

"Oh, the lord of Castella-9. Of course, we've been expecting you. This must be your wife." The cat-like nurse motioned down to River.

"Wife?" his cheeks flushed.

Amy raised a brow.

"Yes, you called not too long ago. Said she was having severe birthing pains, I believe…"

Rory mouthed a 'what?'

"Oh, no, no, no, you must have mistaken me for someone else. But she has suffered major oxygen deprivation, in fact she's been rendered unconscious…" his tone became worried.

"Alright, in that case, I think I can help you, right this way." The cat nurse explained, before proceeding toward a nearby room.

"Thank you," it was Rory who spoke this time, obviously grateful for the medical attention his daughter was about to receive, regardless of the fact that he had scarcely any idea what was going on.

"I'm Novice Pyne; by the way, I'll be attending to her, if it's alright with you all, of course."

"Yeah, fine." The three muttered in unison, clearly wanting to get to the correct room.

When they finally entered the large examination room, they perched the sleeping River upon a rather comfortable-looking medical cot.

"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to begin to examine her. You can stay here if you like, but I would suggest waiting out in the lobby. She may not be awake for a while."

"Right, then, come along, Ponds," the Doctor began to trudge out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Amy Pond demanded from behind.

"Doctor, we can't just leave her there," Rory pleaded apprehensively.

"Don't worry, Ponds. I'm just going to park the TARDIS in River's room. You don't have to come with me if you don't want to." Looking back towards the red head and her sandy haired husband, the man in the bow tie realized that they were intent on following him.

"Are you sure we can trust that nurse or doctor or whatever she is? I mean, for all we know she could be a multi-form or somethin'." The familiar Scottish cadence was tinged with fear.

"Amy, I know. But you've got to trust me, alright? This place is the safest and best hospital I know, and River deserves nothing less than that." He managed a fake smile as the three entered the inconspicuous police box.

"But, I don't understand any of this. How can River even regenerate in the first place? And when you checked the scanner, you said somethin' about her being a partial Time Lord. She also said you told her she was the child of the TARDIS. What does that mean?"

"Yeah, Doctor, Amy and I are both human, so why isn't River?" the Roman continued his wife's inquires.

Fingering the TARDIS console, the Doctor avoided their gaze.

"My people, the Time Lords, became what they were through prolonged exposure to the Time Vortex. River was…conceived in the TARDIS which means she was exposed to that, as well. That in turn mutated her DNA, making her a partial Time Lord, even one with the ability to regenerate…until now, that is." Tiny droplets brimmed at the edges of his eyes as he explained the truth.

"What do you mean, 'until now'?" Rory asked the question that suddenly plagued his mind.

"River did something incredibly dangerous back there, and she gave up her remaining regenerations to bring me back to life. So, that means that the next time she dies, she won't regenerate…"

"She'll really properly die." The sandy haired man stated the reality of the situation very frankly, his bright blue eyes downcast.

Rory took Amy in his arms.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I-" his voice quivered as the sudden image of his first encounter with River crept into his mind.

"That's why they wanted her, yeah? To get to you…because she's a partial Time Lord…" Amy began to put the remaining pieces together.

The Doctor didn't respond.

"You knew that didn't you. Why didn't you tell us before?" Rory beckoned the Doctor to answer.

"Because I didn't want to put you two in greater danger than I already had. I didn't even know for sure if she could regenerate, well, until today."

"So, we're never gonna see her again, are we? Our baby, I mean. All those months, spent hopin'—all for nothin.'" The Girl Who Waited tried to hold herself together.

As the whirring of the TARDIS pulsated through his ears, the weary Doctor met Amy's glossy eyes straight on.

"Amy, I promised you I'd find her, didn't I? And look, she's out there, she's River, and she's your daughter. And most importantly, she needs you. Both of you. Now, go and get her," the man in the bow tie prodded, his words echoing something he had once said long ago.

Exiting through the TARDIS blue doors, the Doctor and the Ponds entered River's room.

"How's she doing?" Quiet Rory asked calmly, his question drawing the feline's attention.

Glancing down at the curly haired woman's face, the Doctor felt his pulse escalate.

"Oh, she's doing very well, actually. I assessed her condition, and gave her the necessary treatment. She's been sleeping soundly for a few hours, now…"

"Hours?" Amy Pond eyed the Doctor indicatively.

_Oops._

"Well, how was I supposed to know that the TARDIS might land a couple of hours in the future? She's got a mind of her own, I tell you. Anyway, it doesn't matter because we're here, now." The raggedy man deterred Amy away from the negative side of the situation.

"How long do you think it will be 'til she wakes up?" the sandy haired man geared the conversation elsewhere.

"A couple more hours at the most."

"In that case, we'll wait in here, until then." Rory firmly decided, perching himself in a seat across from his daughter's bed, motioning for his wife to sit beside him.

Grazing over River's beautiful curls and sullen features, the Doctor found himself momentarily transfixed, his hearts racing. Her face was so still, completely unmoving, yet so perfect.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Doctor?" Amy's voice drew the Doctor out of his fleeting fantasy.

"Yes, Pond?"

"Comin'?" she inquired, patting the seat reserved next to her.

"Actually, Pond, there's something I've been meaning to do."

* * *

Hours later, the Doctor, elegantly dressed in his typical tweed jacket, fingered the TARDIS scanner, the veins of his weathered hands bulging out due to the fear looming from deep within.

His body trembled slightly as he once again peered at the reflective screen.

Seeing the current image of what was happening right outside the police box, the Doctor relaxed at the sight of a certain red head softly leaning against her fatigued husband, both still sitting in those uncomfortable chairs, catching up on the sleep they most certainly deserved after the demanding ordeals of the day.

As the man in the bow tie pressed a different button on the scanner, the screen flickered to the scene across the room, revealing River's unmoving body.

Her normally creamy skin was still incredibly pale, and that slightly sickening truth galled him because it was a painful reminder of the fact that he was only still breathing at her expense—something that he didn't at all deserve in the least bit.

_Well, I won't have to wait long, though…_

The Doctor couldn't help but cringe as the alarming data he downloaded from the Teselecta replaced the other sight.

His tired eyes skimmed it once again, lingering over the specific date and time of his death.

_'The 22nd of April, 2011. 5:02 pm.' that's my death date. That's what Amy, Rory, and River saw happen back in Utah. _

But the most terrifying part wasn't the fact that he was going to die, but rather the identity of the person who would murder him.

_'Melody Pond, the woman who kills the Doctor.' _

It chilled him to the very core because he had seen the recent change in River, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would _never_ willingly kill him ever again. And that could only mean that the Silence and Kovarian would continue to have a secretive hold on her life, whether she was aware of it or not.

_And it's all my fault. I did this. I put her through this._

His inner doubts taunted him, plaguing his mind until he could no longer ignore the horrible feeling of guilt that only added to his eternal brokenness.

In an effort to relieve himself, the Doctor quickly turned the scanner back to the peacefully sleeping Amy and Rory.

Sighing, he collapsed on the nearby swivel chair, attempting to give himself the motivation to complete the task he had begun a while back.

The man's desponded eyes drifted down to the recently bound and nearly painted diary, that he had spent the past few hours creating, with the help of the TARDIS, of course.

Covering every last crevice of the book with the perfect shade of blue, the Doctor tried to mentally envision the River Song he knew.

In his mind's eye, he imagined her beaming face, surrounded those golden curls that he had the irresistible urge to touch. A modest, yet pleasing dress clothed her body, fitting her in all the right places. And then there was her belt—that piece of dark leather that circled her waist and housed her notorious silver gun—a sight that secretly delighted him, though he should've been put off by it. That woman—that mad, impossible woman, was _his_ River Song.

Just simply thinking about her sent his blood on fire, causing a growing redness to seep into his cheeks.

As he added to the finishing touches to their newly created diary, he thought of _that_ River Song, and poured every ounce of energy(and maybe if he was perfectly honest, _love_) into making something that was completely worthwhile.

It was almost ironic how he had once been terrified, intrigued, and annoyed by River's book of spoilers, which he himself was crafting, not just for her, but for _them_.

All those wonderful adventures that had yet to take place, extending over leaps and bounds and centuries, would be carefully recorded in that very diary, leading up to one fateful day.

A sudden wetness pricked his cheek, and he quickly rose to wipe it away, hoping that he could rid himself of the horrid memory that now permeated his mind.

_You've still got River. Right here, right now, and that's all that matters._

His hand shook as he placed the nearly completed diary on the TARDIS console.

"You'll dry this off for me, eh, Old Girl?" he stroked his ship fondly, his eyes falling back on the scanner.

Wondering if River had woken up, the Doctor found himself tampering with the button again, his hearts beating rapidly as he watched her sleeping face flicker onto the screen, bathed in a sea of darkness.

The Ponds were still fast asleep, and Novice Pyne had apparently gone elsewhere for the night.

Seeing this as the perfect opportunity to visit River on his own, the man in the bow tie quietly stepped out of the little blue box.

He took the woman's pale fingers in his own, kneeling at her bedside.

Besides Rory's slightly obnoxious snoring, the room was silent.

"Hello, River Song," the Doctor whispered, his entire body flooding with heat as he twirled a single curly ringlet in his fingers.

His eyes searched her drained face, finding her incredibly enthralling as usual, despite the circumstances.

"You look beautiful," he confessed, his voice very soft as his warm breath laced her skin. "Funny, I suppose I've never really said that aloud before, but I've been thinking it for a long time," he continued, certain that she wouldn't remember any of this.

"You didn't have to do it, you know. You didn't have to save me. In fact, you probably shouldn't have done it; maybe it would have been better if my life had finally ended there. But then again, once you make up your mind, there's no way of stopping you. Believe me I learned that one a very long time ago," his voice was trembling, as he pushed the memory of her death from his mind.

"I knew you had her in you. I knew River Song was there. But it did hurt, when you killed me. And even though you did it, I'll never hold it against you. Because you're forgiven, always and completely. No matter what they make you do, that will _never_ change, I can promise you that," the reality of his demise flooded his mind. "But you're going to have to be very brave, River, just as I know you've always been. I can't always be with you and neither can your parents because you have to make your own way, now." He glimpsed at her sleeping parents sorrowfully.

As his attention turned back to her peaceful face, he watched as a tiny, almost undetectable smile formed on her lips while she slept.

"And you know, I meant what I said back there, those words I whispered in your ear. Cross my hearts, I meant every word. I just don't think I truly realized it until that moment." A single tear trickled down his cheek.

Kissing her forehead softly, the man carefully released her fingers from his grip.

"Goodnight, River Song. I'll see you when you wake up." His quiet promise was the last sound that entered the room before a gentle creaking resounded as the Doctor closed the TARDIS doors behind him.

* * *

A soft nudge aroused the dozing man in the bow tie.

"Huh—what? Pond?" the Doctor's sleepy eyes fluttered open as he realized that he must have fallen asleep on the swivel chair beside the TARDIS console.

_Oh, my head._ Man_, I'm getting old._

"Doctor, I just wanted to let you know that she's waking up, now," the ginger kindly informed her best friend.

"Oh, yes, right! Just give me a mo."

Amy Pond nodded and swiftly exited the TARDIS.

Forcing himself upright, the man in the bow tie grabbed the blue diary.

"It's dry! Brilliant! Now, since this is a gift, I need a bow or something…I bet she would like that." His hand sifted through his hair as he tried to think of where he might possibly find what he was looking for.

A tiny crimson strip nestled upon the console caught the corner of his eye, and he quickly picked it up.

"You got this for me, didn't you, Old Girl? A red bow…not as cool as a TARDIS blue one would be, but I think it'll do very nicely. I think River likes red, it's very…_her_…" twisting the ribbon around the book, the Doctor tied it pretty neatly, much to his surprise.

He clasped the diary behind his back, breathed in deeply, and slowly entered River's room, settling himself quietly in the back corner.

Amy and Rory were sitting on her bed, watching as her green-tinged eyes fluttered open.

"Where am I?" River rasped, sounding weaker than he had ever heard her. Her voice pierced his hearts.

"Safe," her mother assured, and the Doctor could tell that Amy was smiling by the way the word sprang from her lips. "_Apparently_, you used up all your remaining regenerations in one go. You shouldn't have done that," there was a hidden sadness in her voice.

"Mother, I had to try…" the curly haired woman spoke so quietly, her words were nearly incomprehensible.

A small grin crinkled across her face, and the Doctor knew that River Song had no regrets about bringing him back.

"I know." Amy sounded weary.

"He said no one could save him. But he must have known_ I_ could…" River couldn't have stated the truth more plainly.

"Rule One: The Doctor lies." The man in the bow tie spoke at last, his demeanor growing serious.

His hearts pounded a little harder when River closed her eyes, as if just hearing the sound of his voice was a comfort to her.

Their newly-crafted diary rustled at his thigh, prompting the man to walk over to her bedside.

"She just needs to rest. She'll be absolutely fine." The nurse reassured, sensing the Doctor's terse expression.

Fine? No, this was River Song they were talking about; she was going to be _so_ much more than simply that.

"No, she won't." the Doctor paused momentarily, as if for dramatic effect. "She will be…_amazing_." With that, he placed her diary—their diary, beside his wonderful, _amazing_ River Song.

Her lips curved into a smile and it warmed his hearts.

Because as he gazed upon her face for what could have been the last time in a long while, he saw the woman he loved, beaming beneath those gorgeous curls.

Not the murderous Melody Pond or the troublesome Mels. But rather the woman he had known she could be from the moment she regenerated. River Song.

_His_ River Song.

* * *

**Note: I hope you enjoyed it. It took me a really long time to write. Feel free to check out some of my other stories, which are posted on my profile page. Please take this moment to leave a review.**

**Have a brilliant day!**


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